


Freedom Of Control

by jennyjustkidding



Category: Antisepticeye - Fandom, Septiishu - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, Wiishu - Fandom, jacksepticeye
Genre: Antisepticeye Sean McLoughlin, Depression, Gen, Help, My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, Non-Sexual Intimacy, One Shot, Septiishu, Short One Shot, Signe appears shortly at the end, Suicide Attempt, Wiishu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 10:29:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10554814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennyjustkidding/pseuds/jennyjustkidding
Summary: Anti is trying to take control again but Jack won't let him which leads to a short fight between them.





	

"Stop resisting it, Jack ... I know you want it ... "

 With undeniable rage I shoved my fist right in his oh so over-confidently drawn face and he silently fell to the floor, almost like a feather, even though I could swear I had just broken his nose. When he started a firm giggle, my hands started to twitch uncontrollably from the fury that pumped through my veins immediately.

 "STOP. LAUGHING.", I growled. He didn't stop. Why would he.

 "God, you're so desperate.", he whispered, pushed himself up, turned around and gave me a lewd smile, his left green eye shining at me.

 Flicking his almost snake-like tongue over his bright white teeth, he gloomily said: "Let me take over. Then you'll be free."

 "LIES!", I screamed at him.

 At myself.

 Anti.

 A creature of my darkest thoughts and dreams.

 Instead of being reasonable I made a fast step forward and kicked him in the stomach as hard as I possibly could. He quietly hummed and cramped up his slender body that was a perfect clone of mine. He fucking deserved it. He fucking deserved every single piece of pain I delivered to his already battered and trashed body. He kept on twitching, even though there was no muscle in tact that could've kept him doing that, he was shaking and it seemed like he was trying to relieve the pain by not moving at all.

 I knew that that was not what he was doing.

 He loved it.

 He loved pain. He loved it when people were trying to kill this one bit of dignity that he had left in his body.

 No.

 Not people.

 Only me. I was the only one that could see him. The only one that could cause him pain. But hurting him physically doesn't do shit. I've tried everything. Tried talking. Tried ignoring. I even tried killing myself. Only once. Just to get him out of me, out of my head. But it was impossible. Because he saved me. He stood behind me and held me over water when I tried to drown myself in the bath. He deeply cared about me. But not in the way I defined "care". He did all of it just to take control. Over me. Over my body and mind. He needed me. But I didn't. I hated this arrogant creature, evolved from myself, constructed from all those thoughts, memories, dreams. And Nightmares.

 "Get out of me. I don't belong to you, Anti.", I gasped.

 "But I belong to you, Jack.", he purred. I couldn't hold myself back as I rushed to him, my chest burning from the pain that he transferred from himself to me, pulled him up from the ground and pushed him against the wall, my head suddenly feeling like an empty but pounding shell.

 "NO, YOU DON'T! LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU MANIAC!"

He lightly tilted his head and looked at me with sad eyes.

 "I'm not the maniac, Jack. Take a look at yourself. I'm only helping you get the freedom that you so desperatly need."

 The shadows emerging from him shriveled back and slowly gazed around him, one forming a hand and laying it on my tensed hand holding his black shirt. I couldn't move as my hand suddenly lost its tension. As I saw the blood dripping from his nose and over his lip, I gripped tighter, pulled him around and threw him with all my force on the little glass table in the middle of the living room. With a deafening sound the table shattered in millions of shards that Anti got buried in that cut his arms and face. A stifled noise came from him and he became silent for a little while. The shattering still echoed in my ears and I slid down, my back on the wall. My whole body got penetrated by millions of needles and silent tears flowed out of my eyes, feeling like sheer acid on my skin. It hurt so much. A wheezing giggle came from the thin creature in between the shards that glowed like rainbows. His shadows started collecting some and coloured them in a turbid black. Fuck. He was laughing. After all what did to him, he was still laughing. He was laughing at my demise, my inability to control myself. I saw the bigger shard next to my twitching hand, my hopeless facial expression looking back at me. There was no way out of this hell.

 "Please, let me go."

 "I can't, Jack."

 He sighned in a loud manner and then said slowly, word for word:

 "You have to finally understand, Jack. You need me."  
  
"I don't ..."  
  
"Dark thoughts are something that everyone has, you just have an impecable amount. You're depressed. You need to accept me before you can accept yourself."  
  
"No ..."  
  
"Nevermind then."  
  
I couldn't let him ... I didn't want to be such a person.  
  
"Just go. Please, for the love of god, just go."

 His shadows vibrated.

 "Here she comes.", he whispered.  
  
The door of our apartement opened.

 "I'm home!", an angel-like voice said and came to the living room. It was Signe. She became silent and just stood there. Motionless. Then she saw me.

 "Jack?"

 She got down on her knees and took my hand with her one. Her other hand touched my burning cheek.

 "Is everything alright?"

 When I turned my head to the shattered table, he was gone. And the table never shattered. No blood, no nothing. It was all a halluzination. A simple halluzination. I was scared of my own mind. That always happened. I thought I had trashed the place but nothing really happened. I looked into her caring hazelnut-brown eyes.

 "Should I make an appointment with the psychologist?", she said with an unstable voice. He couldn't fucking help me. No damn doctor could. I needed to help myself but I couldn't do that either. And Signe ... She made my life worth living. She did everything to make me feel safe. But she didn't know what I was going through. But I loved her. I could never leave her. How could I protect her when I couldn't even watch over myself.

 Maybe Anti was right. Maybe I had to accept him ...  
  
No. That was impossible.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo, this is my first fanfiction on this site although I've written many for myself but never published them ... cause I'm very shyyy but THAT IS GONNA CHANGE! I actually love hearing opinions so please write some comments if you have to say anything about it :) But please constructive critisism, I can't work with something like "I hate it!" CAUSE ILL BE SITTING THERE LIKE "WHY DO YOU HATE IT, TELL ME WHY, WHAT DID I DO" Adding to that, be nice in the comments:) I don't want any fighting down there. Till next time:D


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